Stillness is the Key
By Ryan HolidayPart I : Mind
Become Present
Presence is rare these days. Those who are able to be fully present with the person in front of them, giving them all their energy and attention, will leave a lasting impression on them.
“People don’t understand that the hardest thing is actually doing something that is close to nothing. It demands all of you…there is no object to hide behind. It’s just you.” -Marina Abramović
We want to learn to see the world as an artist. While others are oblivious to what surrounds them, the artist really sees. All they are thinking about is how to capture and communicate this experience.
Don’t reject a difficult or boring moment because it is not exactly what you want. Don’t waste a beautiful moment because you are insecure or shy. Make what you can of what you have been given. Live what can be lived. That’s what excellence is. That’s what presence makes possible.
Limit Your Inputs
The way you feel when you wake up in the morning and you mind is fresh and yet unsoiled by the noise of the outside world–that space is worth protecting. So too is the zone you lock into when you are working really well.
Slow Down, Think Deeply
On a regular basis, you should think about:
- What’s important to you.
- What’s actually going on .
- What might be hidden from view.
- What the rest of the chessboard might look like.
- What the meaning of life really is.
“Sit along in a room and let your thoughts go wherever they will. Do this for one minute… Work up to ten minutes a day of this mindless mental wandering. Then start paying attention to your thoughts to see if a work or a goal materializes. If it doesn’t, extend the exercise to eleven minutes, then twelve, then thirteen…until you find the length of time you need to ensure that something interesting will come to mind. The Gaelic phrase for this state of mind ‘quietness without loneliness.” -Twyla Tharp
Seek Wisdom
“All I know is that I know nothing.” -Socrates
Read and read deeply.
“I cannot understand how some people can live without ever communicating with the wisest people who ever lived on earth.” -Tolstoy
Never stop learning.
“Learning must never cease…The noble person who studies widely and examines himself each day will become clear in his knowing and faultless in his conduct.” -Xunzi
Find Confidence, Avoid Ego
Confidence is the freedom to set your own standards and unshackle yourself from the need to prove yourself. A confident person doesn’t fear disagreement and doesn’t see an admission of incorrectness as and admission of inferiority.
Part II: Spirit
The Domain of the Soul
We are incapable of see what is essential in the world if we are blind to what’s going on inside us.
“What am I doing with my soul? Interrogate yourself, to find out what inhabits your so called mind and what kind of soul you have now. A child’s soul? An Adolescent’s?…A tyrant’s soul? The soul of a predator–or its prey?” -Marcus Aurelius
Choose Virtue
Each of us must cultivate a moral code, a higher standard that we love more than life itself. Each of us must sit down and ask: What’s important to me? What would I rather die than betray? How am I going to live and why?
Heal the Inner Child
“When we embrace our stron gmeotions with midfulness and concentration, we’ll be able to see the roots of these mental formations. We’ll know where our suffering has come from. When we see the roots of things, our suffering will lessen. So mindfulness recognizes, embraces, and relieves..” -Thich Nhat Hanh
Think about the “age” of the emotional reaction s you have when you are hurt or betrayed or unexpectedly challenged in some way. That’s your inner child. They ned a hug from you.
Give more. Give what you didn’t get. Love more. Drop the old story.
Beware Desire
Resisting desires is how we build strength. Only those who take the time to explore the consequences of our desires will have an opportunity to overcome them and stop regrets before they start.
Enough
The need for progress can be the enemy of enjoying the process. There is no stillness for the person who cannot appreciate things as they are.
Bathe in Beauty
Find the beauty all around you and soak it it.
“Here there was only sky, and a stillness made audible by the brittle grass. Emptiness was so perfect all around me that I felt a part of it, empty myself; there was a moment in which I was nothing at all–almost nothing at all..” -Rose Lane Wilder
Exstasis: a heavenly experience that lets us step outside ourselves.
“Pass through this brief patch of time in harmony with our nature. Come to your final resting place gracefully, just as a ripened olive might drop, praising the earth the nourished it and grateful to the tree that gave it growth.” -Marcus Aurelius
Don’t let the beauty of life escape you.
Accept a Higher Power
A higher power can take many forms, it need not be a religious deity.
Accepting a high power relieves the mind. Accepting that there is something larger and more unifying than ourselves can bring us comfort and help us weather the storms.
Enter Relationships
Success will not come from self-driven focus, and even if it does, who will care?
By ourselves, we are a fraction of what we can be.
Part III: Body
Epicurus said the wise will accomplish three things in their life:
- Leave written works behind them.
- Be financially prudent and provide for the future.
- Cherish country living.
Each of us should strive to:
- Build a capable physique.
- Find hobbies and rest that replenish us.
- Develop a reliable, disciplined routine.
- Spend time getting active outdoors.
- Seek solitude.
- Learn to sit–to do nothing.
- Get enough sleep and rein in our workaholism.
- Commit to a cause bigger than ourselves.
Say No
When someone asks you do do something, consider you are giving them a piece of your life. Ask yourself:
- What is it?
- Why does it matter?
- Do I need it?
- Do I want it?
- What are the hidden costs?
Take a Walk
When life overwhelms you, take a walk.
Build a Routine
The goal is to automate the trivial parts of life and make automatic good and virtuous decisions.
- Get you house in order.
- Get you day scheduled.
- Limit the interruption.
- Limit the number of choices you need to make.
Get Rid of Your Stuff
Getting rid of things you don’t use clears up space for your mind and body.
The best car is the one you have to worry about the least. The best clothes are the most comfortable and require the least amount of shopping to acquire.
The memorability from trips or events are meant to serve as triggers for the memories you cherish. The thing is not the memory. Take a picture of it to save the trigger and get rid of the junk.
Go to Sleep
Lack of sleep increases negative repetitive thinking. Abusing the body leads the mind to abuse itself.
Find a Hobby
While the body is busy, our minds are open. Our hearts are too.
The moment leisure becomes and escape, it is not leisure anymore.
Beware Escapism.
In Closing
“As a well-spent day brings a happy sleep, so a well-employed life brings a happy death.” -Leonardo Da Vinci